Responsibility is defined as the state of being accountable or to blame for something, or the opportunity to act independently and make decisions.
As leaders, we are accustomed to being held accountable for our team’s results, and you don’t get to that place if you are not able to make decisions. I’ve been challenged recently to think about the internal processes that make personal and professional responsibility possible. What abilities have great leaders honed that make them able to weather difficult times? It’s easy to be accountable when everything is going well. It’s certainly not the most comfortable position to be in when mistakes are made.
The ability to own our mistakes, and successes.
As happens often, I’m reminded of football….
Being a Detroit Lions fan is not easy. It’s been easier the last few years, but still a challenge. Many times since I have been a fan I have seen my team come within inches of winning a game, only to be robbed by a bad call, or self-destructive penalty, or an amazing play by the other team. The collective reaction is almost always the same.
“Same old Lions”
“The ref blew the game”
“If that ONE play would have gone down differently”
Over the last few years, however, Coach Jim Caldwell has had a consistent message in post-game press conferences. He always makes clear that no one play, blown call, or bad quarter of football is to blame for a loss. If the offense had scored more points through four quarters, it would be a win. If the defense had stopped the other team from scoring as much as they did through 4 quarters, it would be a win. If the team were better prepared and motivated to play better football, it would be a win.
Coach gives us a powerful lesson in responsibility. It isn’t JUST about being accountable or making a decision. Taking responsibility for your outcome is about recognizing your shortcomings, and taking action to close the gap. It would be so much easier in his position to sit back and agree with fans and the press that the reason for the loss was a bad call or any other circumstance that doesn’t put him in the position of being wrong. Instead, he chooses to own the loss. He chooses to highlight what went wrong. He places himself in the center of the blame.
Being to blame is not comfortable. Often, we resist blame because it’s embarrassing. But have you ever considered that being responsible for our loss is the only way we can move forward? Recently one of the salespeople on my team mentioned that they were frustrated that they might not make their bonus because of one cancellation at the end of the last month. After listening and empathizing because cancellations are frustrating, I asked him how many days he had worked in the last month. He wasn’t sure. I then asked how many sales he had closed, and what his close rate was. He guessed. Looking at me curiously, I explained to him that I don’t believe he’s going to miss out on his bonus because of one canceled sale. If he misses, it’s because of what happened in the first 29 days of the month, not what happened on the last.
The ability to choose how we respond to our circumstances
I may not be able to control the weather, but I can choose what I wear when I go out.
The same can be said for our professional and social lives. There are often events that make life more difficult than we would care for it to be. Circumstances that make winning difficult. Changes in our company that create new challenges, or new competitors in our market. Recessions that create financial challenges for our customers. Disagreements with family, or people making poor choices that impact us with an unfair grief.
Personal responsibility is about choosing how we react to these events. It’s the ability that we have to choose how we respond to our circumstances that makes us human. Realizing that we cannot control every event, only how we respond is a critical part of being a more effective leader and influencer. It may be frustrating that my results are impacted by other people’s choice to not give a full effort. But at the end of the day, I cannot control them, only influence and lead them hopefully to a better choice. That is where we should spend our energy. Not in vilifying the people who we don’t agree with. It wouldn’t make sense to get mad at a storm for blowing our house down. Storms will happen. Instead of the irrational decision to get mad at the storm, you should identify the things you need to do to get your house rebuilt.
In “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” Stephen R. Covey writes this:
“Reactive people are often affected by their physical environment. If the weather is good, they feel good. If it isn’t, it affects their attitude and their performance. Proactive people can carry their own weather with them. Whether it rains or shines makes no difference to them. They are value driven; and if their value is to produce good quality work, it isn’t a function of whether the weather is conducive to it or not. Reactive people are also affected by their social environment, by the “social weather.” When people treat them well, they feel well; when people don’t, they become defensive or protective. Reactive people build their emotional lives around the behavior of others, empowering the weaknesses of other people to control them.”
Responsibility is a proactive posture. As Covey writes, when we are proactive we are taking our own weather with us. In circumstances that are outside of our control, or when the actions of other impede our ability somehow, leverage the ability you have to choose your response. Focus on the action that’s needed to fix the situation, and move forward.