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Do you want to say things, or inspire people?



One of the things I've been accused of a few times in my life has been talking too much. Whenever I think about it, many of the people in my life that have left the greatest impression on me, only spoke when they had something good to say. Many others speak, and eventually say something worth listening to. In my career, I have to do a lot of speaking. There are many different words for it. Teaching, training, directing, but it all boils down to expressing. Sometimes I express information, methods, or strategy. Other times I express a sense of urgency, or passion.

 Most of our lives both at work and at home involve a lot of expressing. So what are the skills that make someone a great communicator? Why should we care about improving those skills? I don’t want my child to just hold my hand when we cross the road. I want him to understand why he should be safe. I don’t want a team member to only understand the task they are assigned, I want them to care about its execution because they want the business to be as successful as I do.

The difference between saying things, and capturing people’s attention is inspiration. Do you want to be a speaker, or someone who inspires and brings out the best in others? Do you want to argue, or move others to your point of view? There are 1000s of books on the subject, and way more to being a great communicator than what is contained in this post. I would like to share a few strategies that have impacted my ability to communicate effectively, and (hopefully) inspire the people around me to want to listen.

Make an investment in your audience

Think about the times you have been most captivated by what someone had to say. Odds are, you were moved and you cared because they were making an investment into you.

We are usually most interested in conversations that involve or impact us in some way. The same goes for the people we speak to. When giving directions at work, it’s much more impactful if I explain why executing or operating a certain way makes our business more profitable. It’s more on point with our mission, which ultimately benefits them. While he may not completely understand the concept yet, we have a culture in our home where we don’t just tell our son what he should or shouldn't do, we explain why he shouldn't lick the fridge, or play with his electric car in the bathtub. We make it about him. His safety, his ability to be nice, his ability to sleep good at night by not eating another sugary popsicle. Appeal to what matters to the person you’re speaking to, and if they see you’re making an investment in them, they’ll be inspired to listen.

Think first, then speak

Really understanding what you want to say will help you deliver the message with clarity, and more naturally. I used to have a job where I did a lot more public speaking. When I first started, I thought I was supposed to write down every word that I wanted to say, and memorize, or read off my notes when delivering a message. I found this to be extremely ineffective. I would lose my audience, and often my own thoughts, as my mouth and brain tried to keep up with each other. The problem was, I was more focused on the words I was going to use than the point I was trying to make. I started to realize that I just needed to know the information, and the illustration or story I was going to use to help get the message through. The more I absorbed the information, the more fluidly I could communicate it, and the more confident I seemed delivering it.

Whatever it is that you need to communicate, make sure you have thought about it. Make sure you understand the point you want to make, and how you are going to make it.

Stop taking, start doing

Probably the most important factor as to whether or not someone receives what you are communicating is the level of authenticity that you display. I ask for a lot of effort from my team, how could I expect them to buy into our vision if I don’t live it out in front of them every day? One of my favorite moments as a sales manager was going to the salesfloor with a rag and cleaner, and cleaning large appliances. I wouldn't say anything, I would just clean and polish. Every time, like clockwork the sales team would eventually all be cleaning appliances. I didn't have to use any words. My actions got the point across clearly. If the boss is going to be cleaning, I probably shouldn't be leaning.


You have to earn the trust of whoever you are communicating to for them to care to listen in the first place. If you want to talk to your spouse about being a better listener, make sure you are listening. If you want your kids to eat their vegetables, you better finish those peas (guilty)! Inspiring others starts with your participation. It starts with putting your time, energy, and money where your mouth is.